Journal Entry #2

Gabby Fernandez

UH3

April 24th, 2015

Personal Experience

            I remember as a young girl watching Disney channel and watching TV shows about teens. They were moody, argued with their parents, got zits and all that! Before I was close to going through puberty I remember that I was afraid to get my period and wear a bra. I didn’t want boobs! I wanted to keep my child self for as long as possible. It’s interesting to think that even if I wanted to stay a kid, my body was changing and it definitely affected the way I acted. I was more insecure; I didn’t want anyone to know I was growing a pair of boobs! I did not want my mom asking me questions about if I got my period yet and I didn’t want my skin to change!! I remember that I began going through puberty around the age of 12, so 7th grade. As I began to understand that my body was changing, my mentality also changed. I began to wear different clothing and wanted to feel older. At that time, even though I had a training bra I wanted to get a padded bra (even though I probably didn’t need one at the time.) I thought that if I had a padded bra I would fit in more, because most of my close friends had already developed breasts and were using padded fitted bras. When I read the scene were Callie asks her mother for a bra and the argument that takes place after, reminds me so much of the arguments I had and sometimes still have with my mom. They are the type of arguments that are so stupid and wind up about something completely irrelevant. Where you ask shyly about something and then completely shut out anyone who continues the conversation. I remember thinking of the right time to ask my mother to take me bra shopping at Victoria’s Secret (where everyone got their bras!) I remember it taking me a lot of courage to ask her because I was so nervous. We were home after school and I was helping her around the house (I can’t remember exactly) but I was following her around building up the courage. I then quickly asked and looked down immediately. I said something like “Can I get a bra at Victoria’s Secret?” I probably said it in the most quiet and awkward way. After I asked her she told me that I didn’t need one at the moment and the bra’s I had were “sufficient” (I hate when she uses that word). I thought it was so unfair because she couldn’t tell me what and whatnot to wear! When Callie asked her mom for a bra her mom laughed and said “‘I’m sorry, honey. But it’s just you’ve got nothing to...to…’” which Callie yelled, “‘Mom!’” and her mother replied, “‘...to hold it up’” To which “A tantrum-edged scream. Twelve-year0old feet running up the stairs, while Tessie called out, ‘Don’t be so dramatic...’” (288). I can perfectly picture this happening because it happened to me. Being that age, everything is dramatic; you’re dramatic on purpose and exaggerate everything. It was so frustrating when my mom said I didn’t need a bra from Victoria’s Secret because I felt as though she didn’t understand what I was going through! I can relate to this event in Cal’s life very well.

"Middlesex" Chapter- Key passage response

Chapter 3, “Middlesex”, delves into the relationship between Lefty and Callie. As a young child, Callie spent much of her time hanging out with her grandfather, who would take her on exciting car rides, walks around the neighborhood and would always make her laugh. Callie says, “We didn’t need to speak to each other. We understood each other without speaking. But then a terrible thing happened” (261). This quote reveals that the relationship Callie had with her grandfather was unique. They didn’t talk all the time but they had a connection with each other that helped build their bond. When Callie mentions a “terrible thing” that happened, Lefty had suffered a spatial disorientation while taking a walk with her. She notices that she sees fear in his eyes as he is laying down- which is something she hadn’t seen in her grandfather before. She says, “I suddenly can see things about my grandfather I should be too young to see” (262). Callie soon after befriends a girl living in her neighborhood, Clementine. When Clementine was over at Callie’s house one day they took a bath. They began to play innocently yet sexually with each other as they were “I fall between her legs, I fall on top of her, we sink…and then were twirling, spinning in the water, me on top, then her, then me, giggling, and making bird cries” (266). Engulfed in all the fun Callie is having, she suddenly realizes her Grandfather is watching them. Clementine is quick to reassure him they were only playing “water ballet” (266), however he does not move. Lefty had experienced another stroke. Callie was full of regret, she explains “…while in the other a seven year-old girl is also praying, praying for forgiveness, because it was clear to me that I was responsible. It was what I did… what Lefty saw… And I am promising never to do anything like that again…” (267). It is clear that Callie is traumatized by this experience with her Grandfather. As a seven year old she understands that what she was doing with Clementine was wrong, and she instantly felt embarrassed and wrong about it when her Grandfather saw. Because of Callie’s strong bond with her Grandfather she feels responsible for his stroke and promises to never do something like that again. This is an important moment in Callie’s life because she believes the way she was playing with Clementine was wrong and caused Lefty’s stroke. Callie makes a promise that will shape the way she grows up.